A Sporkchop Valentine

This was my first Valentine's Day as a single woman in over a decade. It was also the first time I ever really did anything special for the day. Most of my past relationships were long-distance, so our celebration options were limited, and my exes didn't seem to care a whole lot about the holiday anyway. It's not one that I take too seriously either, but this year I wanted to use it as a celebration of the love I am growing for myself. Here's how I did that:

• Breakfast - This was a treat from my grandmother, whom I live with. I don't usually eat breakfast, and sometimes skip lunch too, which is not great. I knew that I had a lot planned for the day, so being hungry in the middle of it would have been frustrating. I ordered some breakfast and a coffee from McDonald's so I could stay in bed a bit longer.

• A Long Shower - If you've ever struggled with anxiety or depression, you know that hygiene sometimes gets neglected when you're feeling low. I try to stay on top of this but will sometimes opt for shorter showers where I only wash "the important bits" and don't do anything extra. On this day, I chose to do all the things including shaving my legs, which I hadn't done in months.

• Homemade Trifles - My mother got me some fun cookbooks for Christmas and I used a recipe from one of them to make Black Forest Cherry Trifles. This included chocolate cake, chocolate custard, vanilla bean whipped cream, and cherry jam. All from scratch. I made these earlier in the day so I could have them for dessert. It took me three hours, but it was worth it. They were delicious. I still have one left in the fridge and will probably eat it later.

• Dressing Up - I work from home, so I spend most of my days in my pajamas. It's comfy, I like it, and I have no shame! But every now and then, it's nice to make myself feel pretty. I wore a floral skirt and a sweater, put my hair up in some buns, did my makeup, and painted my nails. I was giving off some serious "sexy librarian" vibes and I was into it. I posted a picture in a Reddit community I'm part of and one woman told me that I "looked like the type of girl she'd want to be friends with and have a huge crush on" which is quite honestly one of the best compliments I've ever received.

• Takeout Dinner - I knew that I wouldn't feel like making a fancy dessert and dinner, so I did takeout for dinner. I couldn't decide between sushi and a chimichanga, so I got both. Sometimes you just gotta treat yo' self.

• Movietime - Like many of the things on this list, watching movies isn't something that I do a lot of. It can take me longer to pick a movie than it does to watch it, so I don't often watch them on my own. For Valentine's Day, I decided to watch my favorite romantic movie - Ever After. In case you haven't heard of it, it is a 1998 Cinderella-inspired historical fiction film starring Drew Barrymore (whom I absolutely adore) and it's wonderful. Go watch it.

• Sonder Social - I will post about Silk + Sonder in more detail eventually, but here's the short version: It's a $20 monthly journal subscription that comes with all sorts of fun extras. Sonder Socials are online events where you do journal activities and chat with other members. They had a special Valentine's Day Self-Love social which included writing down affirmations and planning out ways to show adoration to yourself and others throughout the rest of the month.

• Spicy ASMR - I love ASMR. It's one of my favorite things. I find it to be incredibly relaxing. But sometimes, I want some naughtier tingles. Lucky for me, my favorite ASMR creator provides. He has a whole "Digital Boyfriend" series with kissing sounds and fun roleplays. I felt that this was an appropriate way to end the day.

While some difficult post-breakup emotions did pop up a few times throughout the day, I really enjoyed taking that time just for myself. I'll probably make it a regular part of my routine and schedule in monthly self-dates. A holiday or special occasion can be a good reminder to take care of yourself, but you can do these things any time. And you deserve it.

XO